Bigger than I could blog

Hi.  How are you?  Isn’t it amazing?  It’s 2011.  And I meant to write this post yesterday to mark the New Year but as is the fashion in my current life as never before: here I am , late again.

So what happened here?

Last year became enormous as did I.  As my pregnancy progressed, I got slower and tried frantically to fit in more and more before the baby arrived.  It was a time for doing, not time for reportage.

And now Matt and I have a son, Arthur who is nearly 8 months old.   He was mostly born at home, in our kitchen with a quick dash to hospital in the last 40 minutes where a careless (lady) obstetrician pfaffed about too much and too roughly with a ventouse and in the end my midwife says I pretty much pushed him out myself at 20 minutes past 12 on the morning of May 8.  He is a tiny Taurus Bull, born in the year of the Tiger who we refer to as the King of the Bears.  Grrr.  Snort.

Parenting is every joyous cliche I have ever heard and more and Arthur is a funny, exquisite, calm, stoic and generally delightful little boy who likes books, drumming, dancing and rabbits.  I think I speak easily for both Matt and I when I say our lives are far greater with him in it.  It has been so enjoyable I simply haven’t wanted to tear myself away in order to put into words something that might simply be indescribable.

I have decided not to return to work and instead, stay Mama-at-home/Artist-at-home and am slowly starting to make that combo work.  It means financially life is rather slim but I have been here before when I first found I needed to retreat from the cycle and I find I need and am happier with less and less as time progresses.   The investment in spending my time growing vegetables, ideas, images and a person is proving infinitely more gratifying.

Around me in 2010 people were born and people died.   I welcome all you fascinating creatures who have arrived with open arms and to those who left, I just dearly wish I had the opportunity to say goodbye or to ask you to reconsider your journey before you set off.  Everyone leaves a ragged, raw hole when they go.  Everyone.

Despite these sadnesses I thank you 2010 for witnessing me turning 40 , for the 10 year marker for my marriage but most overwhelmingly for Arthur.

Soon I will post some brief catchups on what DID happen after I stopped recording but looking ahead, placing one foot in front of the other, and despite my tendency not to, this year some resolutions became clear as I showered away the last dust of 2010: to remember fun and how to have it; and to put an end to waste – wasted resources, money, emotion and time.  I can and will cut back on all of them.

I wish you all the best for this year, whoever you are.  Be as happy as you can and remember that aching void that would exist if you did not.

Happy New Year.

x

On the cards…

So what’s happening art-wise so far in 2010?

Well for starters, there will be a show at 6A opening in early February.  Of Heaven and Earth (works from Montreal) will be an extension of the tiny exhibition Matt and I had in Montreal in 2008, ably and kindly supported by Angela Reeve and the Auberge Alternative (where it was also held) after initial plans for that trip went somewhat pear-shaped.  The show over there consisted of a single work each of which we are both really fond and are looking forward to showing again.  But there are other works – one collaborative and a few other individual pieces that we made over there – that have been neither finished nor shown, for various reasons but mostly I think just because we were a bit bummed out by the experience.  Now however is the time to dot the i’s, finish it up and put these things we made out into the world because the ‘bits’ of them (as yet unassembled) are really quite lovely.  And then draw a firm line under the experience.  I hear Angela (whose ‘home’ has always straddled both Montreal and Hobart) is now living here again – I really hope we can get her at least to the opening and maybe involve her some other way if possible…

At the same time as OH&E is still running I will be installing a series of video works, indoors and out, at The Barn at the Rosny Farm Site.  These have been commissioned by the Clarence City Council to coincide with the Clarence Jazz Festival so will be able to be seen on those three nights that the Jazz Café runs in the last week of February.  I’m doing some Ousler-ish karaoke works outdoors, and some sign-language karaoke works indoors.  That karaoke thing just won’t go away (but that’s a good thing really). I talked to my interpreters today and got quite giddy-up about it.   Sometimes just the very concept of language can make my mind spin.

Then I’m going to have a baby in-between a couple of writing gigs (of which there are never too many and I’m not ashamed to use this blog to tout for business. This gun’s for hire. Want some words?  I’ll write ‘em!).

Then,  3 weeks after the baby is due (eep) near the end of May I have a humble little show in the window of GRANTPIRRIE in Sydney where some new print-works will be installed.    There are fallback plans in case Tiny Rees-Warren and I can’t go to install it ourselves of course but I really hope we can.  It’s only the second time I’ve had work in Sydney and it might be nice to make a quick jaunt upwards to waggle the offspring at my sister in Pacific Palms while we’re there.  We’ll see, I guess.

Closing out the year there is a lovely, ruminatory,  collaborative and performative project with two other artists; someone I always love to collaborate with, El Husbando,  and another artist I have been longing to have the opportunity to work with again, having done so many years ago now and having learned so much from her when I did.  I shall stay stumm and not name her or the project for the time being as it is quite a mysterious process and while I am confident it will go ahead – I am not sure if it’s official and ‘out there’ just yet.  ‘Citing though eh?  Nice to have a little secret up your sleeve.

There’s a nice big space to fill in the middle  – much of which is to be taken up with working out how to look after a small, squealy, squirting person  of course -  but I hope to fill it in with a couple of other shows and projects and words and things too.

I like this year already.  It feels all different and nice and spacious.

Hey! HNY!

Can you believe it’s 2010?

If you’re in Hobart, could you believe or imagine more spectacular New Years weather?

I melted in the heat, ate watermelon for dinner and watched the New Year roll in with the lightening on a blanket on the shore of Cornelian Bay.

This picture is from The Mercury’s little ‘crazy NYE weather’ album.

It’s unusual for me not to blog a Happy Channukah/Christmas/Kwaanza or a New Years Eve wish list but core thoughts tend to stand from year to year:- I hope you’ve all been happy and safe and that life looks brighter, rather than darker, from where you stand right now.

I’ve been quietly enjoying a couple of (scheduled) weeks off formal employment and a couple of (unscheduled and very naughty) weeks off any other form of work at my desk.  Pregnancy is bliss and family and old friends are too, so I decided after the busy-ness of the end of year to just wallow in this place for a while where I tend to my garden, groom my rabbits, eat watermelon and sort tiny donated clothes into season and size while generally just being enormous.

But the turning of the year begs to be marked so here I am.  There are catchup posts to do waiting in the wings and early 2010 is full of exciting work and exhibitions which I will tell of soon enough.

BUT what is truly incredible is that:

In 2010 I will turn 40.
In 2010 I will celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary.
In 2010 I will have a child.

What a year it’s going to be.

In case you didn’t know…

…we are planning on huffing and squeezing this little babby out here at home under the care of a private midwife of some 30 years experience who has been caring for me now for a couple of months already and will continue to do so with increasing frequency up to the birth and beyond.  The same professional every time. Taking all my details, measuring all my particulars and getting to know me, M and Babby really well all the way through the process as we get to know her too.

Our only other option was public hospital care, which I am led to believe is very good, but for me the preference was for continuity of care and the option to build a familiar and trusted relationship with my caregiver.  This is of immense importance to me.

We have no private insurance and could never afford an obstetrician.  Our midwife will cost us a couple of grand and after giving her a small deposit, she is happy to wait for us to get our Government Baby Bonus after the birth to receive the balance.

Babby is due in April 2010.

Guild Insurance has withdrawn their policies for independent midwives (they were the only insurance provider for the field) with the result that from July 2010 any midwife working outside the hospital system who would continue to practice antenatal or postnatal care or attend births would be operating outside of the law.

There has been some move for the Government to come to the rescue by providing Medicare funding and indemnity insurance but our Health Minister, Senator Nicola Roxon,  is managing to continue to put the careers of midwives in further jeopardy and once again take away the choice for affordable and experienced antenatal care and the option of home birth.

An amendment was made to Government policy in September giving midwives a 2 year stay of execution from the dreaded July 2010 ‘cease-practice-or-be-damned’ date but that only allows them to attend home births without insurance – pre or post-natal care will be illegal.  This is awkward enough, but now sneaky Senator Roxon has slipped in a new bill that proposes that while midwives WILL still be allowed to practice by attending births,  this  shall happen only under the supervision of an obstetrician.  And still no pre or post-natal care by midwives allowed.  This is referred to in the bill as ‘collaborative arrangements’.

This again means no home births and a model of continuous care only for those able to afford private health insurance or their own obstetrician.

I ask you – how could the government of a progressive, modern nation allow this to happen all for the sake of insurance monies?

Our choice of a home birth with private midwife is not only because we believe hospitalisation is for emergency or illness (touch wood all will be fine – of course I’m prepared to go if tiny sprog needs me to) but also for this valuable continuity of care.

The chance to get to know the person who will help our baby arrive with what will be extremely intimate (although gentle) intervention, over six months of care is invaluable.  Throughout this time we laugh and share and palpate and listen to the heartbeat and swoosh of the placenta as she passes on the wisdom of her considerable experience and helps us prepare for the biggest day of our lives.

Postnatally she will drop in every day, a couple of times if necessary, to assist and make sure we are feeding and managing well.  She will make herself available for three months afterwards for calls and queries and nervous new-mum visits.

She will stay with me as long as I want/need her to in labour and let it take as long as it takes,  rather than rush or induce which would likely either cause a tear or require a cut, things many people now take for granted as a necessary part of the birth process. She will coach me to slow things down to allow this all to happen naturally.

She also knows when it IS time to go to hospital.  She works there too.

All this for less than half of the Government baby bonus.

I am shocked that had it taken us a mere 3 months longer to conceive, that the option to do this in what we believe is the best and safest way for us, would be taken away.  How can the Government allow this option to be taken away from us should we choose to have a second child ?  Away from everybody?  How much does a public hospital birth cost anyway before Medicare steps in and takes care of it for me?  I bet it’s considerably more than our birth plan is costing us now.  How much money are those who choose home-birth saving the already drained public health system per year and why is this not acknowledged and supported?

Until December 11, the end of this week, the The Senate Community Affairs Committee will be accepting submissions addressing the terms of reference laid out for the inquiry into the bills put forward by Senator Roxon.  I am part way through writing mine but I just wanted to post this in case anyone else out there feels strongly enough about this, either because of their own pregnancy/birth experiences or simply because they support the right of parents-to-be to choose the model of care that suits them best without discrimination of class or income level.

The invitation for submissions is here and the terms of reference are laid out here .  There is also valuable discussion which may help you frame your submission on the Australian Natural Parenting Forum here.

I won’t be posting my submission here (legally it will invalidate it) but feel free to get angry with words yourself, just remember to address the terms of reference in order to keep it relevant (and heard).

..and thanks for sitting through this (if you are here at the end).  It’s important to me.

Back to art and bunnies soon enough.